literature

Perfect Asian

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bleachrave's avatar
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Literature Text

So you want to be an Asian?
Then we’ll put you through some tests
Have you ever solved equations,
And shied out of your requests?
Have you ever scored a hundred,
On any tests you’ve taken,
And have you ever wondered
How you were ever mistaken?

You have? Good job, you’re on your way,
To becoming a fine Asian
But don’t get too confident,
You’re still only partly Asian

Have you ever discovered,
Mistakes on teacher’s tests?
And got extra points recovered,
When a test is reassessed?

Can you solve logarithms,
And calculate the discriminant,
Do you know the meaning of biorhythm,
And is all your thinking immanent?

You can? Good enough, that’s step two,
You’ve passed so far, and you’re pretty smart,
Yet that’s not all you need,
Step up, and we’ll see, if you’re style’s on par

Is your wardrobe style questionable,
And all your best clothes cheap?
And to make your glasses acceptable,
Are they as thick as thimbles are deep?

Is your height around six foot,
and are your socks just as high?
Are your chopsticks made of wood,
and do your shirts read “Shanghai”?

They do? Good deal, that’s step three,
You’re half Asian, and counting now,
But still half you’re not,
Let’s rate your habits; do you bow?

Do you wear a fanny pack,
No matter how nerdy it be,
and is tennis the only ball you smack,
and have you an engineering degree?

Do you have rice with every meal,
and can you play the piano,
Do you always reply, “Good deal”,
and do you not eat Romano?

You don’t? Good answer, doing good,
Hey, you’re almost there,
Just one more set of questions
That’s all, I swear

Do you always study,
and want to go to Harvard?
Do you drink much tea,
and hold your parents in highest regards?

Do you want to be a doctor,
lawyer or a surgeon?
Do you frown on being an actor,
an artist or a newsagent?

You do? Terrific, you’re the perfect man!
A true Asian, without question
You’re it, you’re the one,
You fulfill all expression
You’re the one, who makes them right,
You’re the one, the perfect stereotype.
The title of this peace is officially: So you want to be Asian? (Perfect Stereotype)

But the title didn't fit... Anyway, I wrote this in about half an hour for an assignment I have to turn in tomorrow... it's supposed to be humorous so.... Hope you all enjoy it!
© 2007 - 2024 bleachrave
Comments73
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FutureCarrotLab's avatar
Hm, 90% of the Asians I know are really short though? (One of them under 3 feet, she was a senior in high school when I was a freshman, and one of my old friend's sisters).

But anyway, great job, I like the humor in there while it brings up nothing about looks. ^^